Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
