She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
sick fucks of a feather flock together
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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