dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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