i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
meet me or not, i'm out of control
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
