That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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