Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
