you turned your livingroom into a bong?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
My Sexting was not on an AP level
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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