I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
the room spins SO much faster in panama
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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