Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
