Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
