I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
