I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
