I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
home. puking in laundry basket.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Randomize
