there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
