Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
