I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
He kissed a someone with a penis
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
