So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
