All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
