Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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