Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
