All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
