I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
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