Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
