she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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