what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
