I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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