Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
