I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize
