please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
