I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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