She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
