I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
