Well apparently he's into motor boating.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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