They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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