break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Randomize
