Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
