I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
