Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
