You smell like stripper and shame
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
