He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
