Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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