I'm gonna have a badass scar
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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