So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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