i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
