i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Pi�atas plus fireworks don't mix well
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
We smell like vodka and hangover
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