Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
