He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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