please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
