Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
That was an excessively violent trivia night
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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