But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
we should paint friendship bongs
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
