The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
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