You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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