I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
